The Cracks in the Heart of Ice
by WhatAreAllTheseTears
Summary: Gray is finally able to admit that he has feelings for Juvia but what happens when she's no longer there for him to tell her. Gruvia one-shot might do another chapter if people like it though :) MY FIRST STORY PLEASE BE KIND comments are appreciated
1. Chapter 1

Gray leaned on his knee panting, one hand holding his side, the pain still radiating through him. He spat a glob of blood from his mouth and then straightened up gritting his teeth through the pain. Gray looked over at Natsu who was standing over Sarines broken and lifeless body, the tension in his shoulders from the battle evident through muscles and veins popping out. As if he felt Grays stare on him, Natsu turned his head and looked his best friend in the eye. Gray could see the battle raging in his best friend, confliction. Happiness that the battle was over but hurt of not being able to save their friend. Gray smirked at his friend, letting him know it was OK to feel what he was feeling, that he understood. Natsu smiled a small smile back in thanks then turned his head off to the direction of where they had last seen the girls. "Come on." Natsu said as he brushed some blood off his face with the back of his hand. "Let's go find Lucy and Juvia."

" _Juvia."_

Gray felt his heart rate pick up at the sound of her name.

" _It's time."_ He thought as they headed off. " _I'm going to give her my answer."_

For some reason this thought made him more nervous than any of Sarines monsters. They walked in companionable silence each lost in their own thoughts. After about 5 minutes of walking in silence Gray opened his mouth to say something but it was lost when a scream rent the air. It was off in the distance, in the direction of where the girls were.

"Lucy!"

"Juvia!"

The boys took off sprinting in the direction of the scream not sure where exactly they were going. They stopped a couple of times, trying to figure out which way to go, Natsu sniffing the air trying to pick up Lucy or Juvia's scent, but the sound of an explosion from a battle would sound and they'd head off towards it. They have been running for 10 minutes with no or screams and Natsu and Gray were both getting worried when they rounded a corner and stopped. Gray breath caught in his throat as he took in the scene before him. Loke kneeled on the ground beside Lucy, his arm wrapped around her as sat there shaking, her sobs could be heard from where he and Natsu stood. Lucy's head was bent forward over the body in her arms, blue hair cascading over her arms.

"No."

Gray took off again with Natsu right on his heels. " _No no no no!"_ Gray thought as he raced towards them. " _Please Juvia no."_ Gray came to a skidding halt in front of them and dropped to his knees, his eyes never leaving Juvia. Her head was turned into Lucy's chest, facing away from him, he reach out to turn her towards him and he noticed his hand was shaking. Taking a deep breath Gray placed his hand under her chin, shocked that she felt cool, and turned her head towards him.

"No…."

Gray closed his eyes and turned his head away trying, wanting, to unsee her. Juvia lay there her eyes glassed over and staring off into the distance, seeing nothing. Gray's shoulders started to shake as he tried to hold in the sobs that were coming. He looked back at her again, blinking hard through the tears that were blurring his vision. Juvia's face was pale, her lips slightly open, all color was gone from her usually bright cheeks. Gray pulled on her body, taking her out of Lucy's grip and pulling her into his own. He brushed the hair out of her face so that he could take her all in. Gray looked up at Lucy, his eyes asking the question he couldn't. Lucy opened her mouth to speak but a gurgling sob broke through and she fell forward towards the ground, but Natsu, who was on the ground between them caught her and held her to him before she could.

"We were fighting Saline, all three of us against her."

Gray looked up at the sound of Loke's hushed words.

"We were getting ahead, she was getting tired and starting to run low on magic we could tell when she got a burst of magic and threw all of us against a wall. I was knocked out momentarily but when I came to Juvia was up and fighting Saline."

Lokes lower lip started to tremble and his voice crack. He coughed trying to get his voice back and continued.

"She… She was holding her own against her when Saline started conjuring this dark ball of magic. It felt like was sucking the life out of us, and then… she…. She shot it straight at Juvia, there was no dodging it."

Tears were rolling down Lokes face and his shoulders shook slightly, Lucy's sobs, which hadn't subsided, seemed to increase as Loke told them what happened.

"It… it hit her and she just… She just fell to the ground and didn't move."

Gray looked down at Juvia the rest of what Loke said about their battle with Saline drowned out. He looked down into Juvias dark blue eyes, pale and lifeless looking at him but not seeing him. Gray felt something start to grow in his chest, he started to shake all over. This wasn't fair. This wasn't fair at all! He had finally decided to tell her, to let her know that her feelings weren't in vain. Gray punched the ground, his breath coming in and out in heavy puffs. Cries of pain and anguish pulled themselves from deep within. Gray pulled Juvia into his chest burying his hands and face into Juvia's hair. His cries wouldn't stop and grew in intensity. Tears streamed down his face and onto her lifeless one. Gray rocked back and forth as he cried into her hair, pain and anger radiated throughout his body. Why? Why did this happen? This wasn't suppose to happen! This wasn't fair! Why did every woman he had ever loved or cared about have to die?

"It not fair, it not fair, it's not fair!"

Gray didn't realize he had been saying these words out loud until he felt a hand on his shoulder and was brought back to reality. Gray looked up into Natsu's watery black eyes, tears trickling down his face.

"I know dude. I know…. It's not fair. I'm sorry…. Gray I'm so sorry."


	2. Chapter 2

**OK! So sorry for those of you that got a notification that I posted another chapter and then there was nothing there! I'm still trying to figure out this website and I posted an empty document on this story and then deleted it! Now this is the final chapter of this story, sorry I promise I'll write something happy soon! Just an overview, I DO NOT OWN Fairy Tail, if I did all of our ships would be cannon by now! Also I know that some of you might be confused about the bad guys, there were two! A guy: Sarine and a girl: Saline. Also to note, I can't stand the way Juvia talks about herself in third person so I just took it out, sorry if that pisses some of you off but it's my story lol OK sit back and get ready to cry!**

Gray stood alone in the lingering light of the sun as it dipped down below the mountains behind him. He looked down at the marble slab in front of him, flowers adorning the ground all around the grave, on top of it and the ground around it. The name the only visible part of it. Gray had one hand in the pocket of his jacket and the other gripped the scarf around his neck, the only thing he really had to remember her by. He stood there in silence, the fall air whipped by him turning his ears red from the biting cold but he didn't feel it. Gray hadn't really felt much of anything in the last few months. His body stood above her grave but his mind was miles away, memories ran through his head one after another.

 _Gray entered the guild hall with Juvia in his arms, his head bent low, he couldn't look at anyone, especially not him. The noise and voices died down almost at once as the group passed over the threshold. Lucy glanced around looking for the other blue haired member of their guild, tears rising to her eyes again. There was a scraping of chairs and people hurried over to them questions coming from all over._

 _"What happened?!"_

 _"Are you guys OK?!"_

 _"Is she dead?!"_

 _Gray tried to ignore everyone, he wanted to be alone, he wanted people to just leave him alone. Rough hands grabbed his shoulders and shook him bringing his head up to look into bright crimson eyes._

 _"What. Happened?"_

 _Gajeel's face was angrier than Gray had ever seen it, but it wasn't just angry, there was fear and hurt etched in around the fury._

 _"I wasn't there."_

 _Gray's voice was like the rest of him, void of any emotion but he still couldn't look Gajeel in the face, the guilt rubbed way him like sandpaper against wood._

 _"We got separated and she died."_

 _Gajeel looked from Gray to Juvia, the pain of losing one of his best friends taking over the anger. He reached out for her and for once since they left the destroyed town of Malcone, Gray let her leave his arms. Gajeel reached for Juvia's body, pulling her into his chest and then turned and headed off towards the infirmary. Lucy followed them, Levy's arms wrapped around her best friend, both girls in tears. People started to slowly wander off back to their seats, some crying, others comforting. Gray turned to leave when a voice called out to him._

 _"This wasn't your fault my boy."_

Gray turned and locked eyes with Makarov. The guild master's eyes were sad but showed he meant every word. Gray turned his back and walked out.

Gray sighed and tugged the scarf up over his nose. He closed his eyes and tries to forget the memories that haunt his nightmares and plagued his waking hours. The same ones over and over again…

 _Gray reached his street, how he didn't know, he didn't really remember the walk back from the guild. He made his way up the stairs and into his apartment, not bothering to turn on the lights he took a few steps forward in the room when he felt something soft underneath his foot. Gray looked down, his breathing stopped for a minute and a lump formed in his throat. Reaching down he picked up the scarf, the memory of her giving it to him flashed through his mind. Tears started prickling into his eyes and rolled down his cheeks. Gray brought the scarf to his chest, his breath going raggedy as he starting to sob for the first time. He fell to his knees, his right shoulder crashing into the wall. Gray's sobs and cries filled the room, his tears soaking into scarf. Gray stayed there crying until he couldn't anymore, he has no strength to pull himself up so he just stayed there on the floor and fell into a dreamless sleep._

 _A thundering boom brought Gray out of his stupor, his hands gripped the scarf tight. He looked around trying to figure out where the noise had come from._

 _"Gray!"_

 _The pounding came from the door and Gray dropped his head not wanting to talk to the person on the other side of the door._

 _"Gray! I know you're in there, open up!"_

 _Gray stood up and turned away from the door, walking over to his bed, knowing his guest would come barging in any minute now. He wasn't wrong, not two seconds after he sat down the door flew open and Lyon stormed in. He was out of breath, his breathing heaved like he had run all the way from his guild to Gray's apartment._

 _"It isn't true is it? Tell me it isn't true!"_

 _Gray looked up into Lyon's eyes, the fear of Grays answer swimming in them, tears not wanting to be shed just ghosting over his lids. Lyon took in Gray's red and puffy eyes and his face, paler than usual and the tears Lyon had been barely holding back slipped silently down his cheeks and dropped off his chin._

 _"No. This… This can't be possible. This can't have happened."_

 _Lyon brought his hands up to his face and Gray looked away unable to look at his friend's anguish, the cries coming from him were hard enough to listen too._

 _"How did it happened?"_

 _Gray felt Lyon grab him by the shoulders and pull him forward, much like how Gajeel had, and shake him._

 _"How could you let this happen?! Where were you?!"_

 _Gray shoved Lyon off of him and stood up, ready to throw a punch if Lyon didn't back off._

 _"Why weren't you there Gray?! Why didn't you protect her!"_

 _Lyon's tears flowed furiously down his face and his breath heaved in and out as he tried to come to grips with the pain of his loss. Gray stood there, his fist and teeth clenched tight but saying nothing to defend himself. Lyon's anger seemed to slowly ebb away to only pain as the minutes passed. Gray felt the his limbs growing heavy again and he slumped to the floor and leaned against his bed._

 _"I wasn't there."_

 _Gray felt the words slip out, not meaning to say anything at all._

 _"Natsu and I, we were uh…. fighting Sarine in a different part of the city, Lucy, Loke and…. and…."_

 _Gray couldn't get himself to say her name, a lump in his throat blocking her name from leaving his mouth._

 _"They were off fighting Saline but she somehow got the upper hand on them and knocked them unconscious. When Loke came to Saline was firing some sort of black magic at her and she…. She…. she…."_

 _Tears had started streaking down Gray's cheeks again, his breath coming in fast and ragged. He couldn't catch his breath, try as he might, he just found it harder and harder to breathe. Hands grabbed his shoulders for the third time that day but this time they didn't shake him, they pulled him in close and then wrapped around his back. Lyon held Gray gently, letting his childhood best friend cry into his shoulder. Gray wrapped his arms around Lyon, finally letting everything out._

 _"I wasn't there Lyon! She's gone and I…. and I… I wasn't there! I wasn't there Lyon and I never…. I never…. Told her. She's gone Lyon and it's my fault! I…. I… I can't protect anyone! Not Ur. Not Ultear. Not Ju…. Ju… Juvia!"_

 _Sobs broke through every other word as Gray finally spilled out everything he had been feeling the last several days, all of it coming out in every tear, every sob, every shake of his body as all of Gray's emotions finally came crashing down on him. Lyon's body shook from his sobs as well but he held his friend close to him, Lyon's tears a mixture of his pain of losing someone he loved and the pain of seeing his best friend in such anguish._

 _"It's all my fault Lyon…. It's all my fault…"_

Opening his eyes, Gray looked up into the sky, the oranges, pinks and purples mingled into a beautiful sunset colliding with the clouds coming in from the east, snow clouds by the look of them. Gray pulled his scarf closer around his face and sighed. He needed to get back to the guild. He had promised the gang he would come and have dinner with them and if he didn't leave soon they would come looking for him and he didn't need to be on Erza's bad side right now. Looking down at the gravestone one last time, he placed his hand against the top of it. Gray opened his mouth, the words he had been saying for months now trying to come up but for some reason he couldn't say them today.

"She already knows."

Gray whipped his head around, startled by the voice. He hadn't heard anyone come up behind him but when he saw who had spoken he wasn't surprised. The miniature blonde, first master stood before him, her green eyes staring up into his stormy dark blue ones.

"She knows how you feel Gray. She's known for awhile actually and it's killing her to watch you come here everyday and repeat it day in and day out."

Gray stood there, transfixed, how did she know this? He opened his mouth to say this but she beat him to the punch.

"She's here, has been since you all came back. As a ghost I can see other ghosts."

Gray's eyes widened and his head twisted from side to side looking for a flash of blue but nothing caught his eye.

"You can't see her Gray, she's not as strong a ghost and to be honest, she shouldn't be here. Juvia is only here because she can't leave you here in such pain. You need to learn how to let her go so that both of you can move on."

Mavis said this in a calm tone but her face and eyes were sad. Gray snapped. He was done with everyone's pity and the sad looks, but the fact that Juvia had been here this whole time, that just drove him off the edge.

"Why does she have to leave?! You're here, why can't she stay like you?!"

Gray's fists shook with anger and pain, tears welling up in his eyes from the frustration swirling around inside him. For weeks now she had been near him, just out of eyesight and he hadn't known. For weeks now she had seen him cry, she had seen her own funeral and watched her friends grieve her loss. That wasn't fair! Not to her, not to them.

"Can I see her? Please Mavis. Let me see her."

Mavis pursed her lips, debating on whether that was a good idea or not but finally she nodded her head before turning around and disappearing. Gray looked around him, again looking for that blue he had always found comfort in even if he didn't admit it. His breath stopped when he heard her voice from behind him.

"Gray."

Gray turned around slowly, afraid of actually facing her. Would she be angry with him? Did she even want to see him or hear what he had to say? But when he faced her all his worries melted away with the smile that graced her face, her eyes shining as she looked at him. Gray moved towards her, to pull her into him but stopped at the last minute, unsure if he could actually touch her causing Juvia to chuckle and place a hand to his cheek. It felt warm but weird at the same time, like if you could touch your own shadow. Gray leaned into her touch slightly cupping her hand with his.

"Gray darling, I'm so so sorry my love."

Gray started at that. She was sorry? Looking into her eyes he saw tears pooling in the corners, just ready to fall.

"I promised myself to never cause you pain but it seems that I have broken that promise."

Gray frowned then reached out and pulled her into him, his arms wrapping around her, burying his face into her hair, thanking the gods above that he could smell her. The scent of rain water and roses filled his nose and he gripped her a little tighter. Juvia wrapped her arms around him as well, her small hands pressing into his back.

"Don't you dare apologize. Don't you dare. You have nothing to apologize for, this isn't your fault, this is… this is my fault. I wasn't... I wasn't there to protect you. I should have been and I wasn't…"

Juvia pulled away from Gray and placed both her hands on his cheeks, causing Gray to lose his voice. He stared down into her sapphire eyes, twinkling up at him like they always did when she gazed at him. Gray closed his eyes, feeling tears start to rise up again and suddenly feeling like he didn't deserve to look at her let alone have her look at him especially with such a loving look. He shook his head, trying to shake the tears away, not wanting her to see him cry anymore than she already had.

"Don't do that. Don't look at me like that, I don't… I

don't deserve it."

His words came out hushed and whispered so that his voice wouldn't crack from all of the emotions building up inside of him. He bit his lip so as to stop the trembles he felt coming as well. Juvia sighed and rubbed her thumbs over his cheek, her breath rolling over his face.

"Gray my love, please we don't have much time."

Gray's eyes sprang open at those words, taking in Juvia's sad facial expression.

"Mavis's magic has allowed me to cross over with just enough time for us to say our final goodbyes. I hate that this has happened at all but you must not blame yourself! This was not yours or anyone but Salines fault. Stop putting yourself through all of something you could never have stopped. Gray I have loved you from the moment my eyes set upon you and nothing that has happened over the years that I have known you will ever change that, not even death."

Juvia had started to cry as she started to let everything out, knowing that Gray needed to hear this before she left him for good.

"You and Fairy Tail are the best things that have ever happened to me and I will forever be grateful for you all for opening your guild to me after everything I had done to you. Please tell them, everyone, Erza, Natsu, Lucy, Wendy, Master, Mira, everyone! Tell them how much

they meant to me and that I will cherish every memory I ever made with. And tell Gajeel. Tell him that he was the best friend I could ever have asked for and I love him. He was the big brother I always needed. And Lyon, he's hurting like you are I know, please tell him I am sorry."

Tears were slipping down both of their faces now, Juvia was trying to keep her smile up but it's hard when you have to tell the person who matters most to you goodbye. Gray wasn't sure he could do this anymore, with each word, with every request from her to pass on her last words to those that matter to both of them it tore him open more and more. Knowing that passing those words on could possibly kill him. But he would do it, he would do anything she asked him too.

"And one last thing Gray, I need you to do for me please."

Gray nodded his head vigorously, causing the tears on his chin to go flying everywhere.

"Live Gray darling. I need you to keep living, for me. You have to go on jobs and not alone but with Natsu and Lucy and Erza. Pick fights with Natsu or Elfman in the guild hall. Fall in love with someone."

At that one Gray shook his head, he would never fall for another woman again as long as he lived. But Juvia grabbed his face and pulled him in until their noses were just centimeters from touching.

"Yes! You will! And you will have babies and you will love them and her with everything in you because that is who you are Gray Fullbuster! You have a loving heart and that will never change no matter what. It's something I have always loved about you. You were so kind to me even while fighting me at the beginning in Phantom Lord. You will love again, maybe not in now, maybe not in the next few months or year or two from now. But someday you will and I will be watching you from somewhere and I will be trying to come back down and strangle her for even laying her eyes on you."

Gray laughed at that and laid his forehead against hers causing Juvia to stop talking. She looked up into Gray's eyes his stormy ones looking back at her. Gray's eyes just quickly looked down at Juvia's lips while licking his own. Before he could even think of some reason not to, Gray leaned down and placed his lips over Juvia's, kissing her with everything he had in him. Juvia's eyes widened and she froze for just a second before closing her eyes and smiling into his lips, her hands still on his cheeks moving to around his neck and up into his hair. Gray's arms wound around Juvia's back, one hand going into her hair the other to the small of her back, pulling her in closer to him. They stood there in their embrace, their tears mixing together as they slowly moved their mouths together. They pulled apart when Gray felt Juvia slightly disappear in his grasp. He pulled away, looking down at her. Juvia was slowly starting to vanish before him. His eyes came back up to hers, the terror of finally losing her was written all over his face.

"Please don't go."

Juvia's tears increased in flow as he begged her not to leave him, a sob breaking from her lips.

"I have too."

Gray closed his eyes and placed his forehead against hers again, tears leaking out and over his lashes. Juvia closed hers as well, breathing in the smell that she always associated with Gray in one last time. Mint and water, and not just one water, all the waters. Rain water, sea water, river water, any kind of water you could think of, the smells of them all tied together and it was amazing.

"I love you."

Juvia's eyes flew open and she looked up at Gray, her mouth falling open to form a small O. Gray's eyes were still closed, he couldn't look her in the eyes as he said those words. Ones he had been too embarrassed and scared to say out loud when she was alive, words he should have told her forever ago but never got the guts too. He was ashamed that they were coming out now but if he didn't say them now he would never get the chance to tell her again and would never forgive himself for giving up his second chance to tell her. He opened his eyes to see Juvia's face wet with his and her tears her eyes wide and her mouth going from an O formation to a giant smile.

"I should have told you long before now Juvia. I love you, I've loved you for awhile now, long before Tenrou island, but I could never get the nerve up to finally man up and just tell you and make you mine. I'm sorry that those words have to come now, now that I am about to lose you forever but you need to know. No, you have to know. I love you Juvia Lockser, till the day I die I will always love you. Don't ever forget that."

Juvia was transparent now, Gray couldn't feel her under his hands, tears were running rampant down both their faces. Juvia tried to place her hand on his cheek one last time but her hand slid right through him. A sob broke out from her lips and she pulled her hand back to her chest.

"I love you too Gray. And I too will never stop, even in death."

And with those last words, Juvia disappeared entirely. There was nothing for a second and then a bright ball of glittering light erupted from where she had stood and shot into the sky, joining the millions of shimmering stars that floated above. Gray had taken a step back when the light had a appeared and followed it until it vanished. He lowered his head, a quiet sob escaping his lips, her parting words echoing in his head over and over again. He stood there for several minutes before he finally composed himself. Breathing in and out several times, Gray took one last look at Juvia's headstone, smiled a small, sad smile and then turned and headed down the path back towards the guild hall.


End file.
